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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26088232">Hierarchy of things</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natandacat/pseuds/Natandacat'>Natandacat</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Character Study, Child Abuse, Emotional Manipulation, F/F, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Physical Abuse, Victim Blaming, abuse is complex and Shadow Weaver is not demonized in this fic, diving into Catra's childhood from her perspective, i guess?, she is not nice either, the abuse is not super graphic as of now but it might get darker hence the rating</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 03:55:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,015</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26088232</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natandacat/pseuds/Natandacat</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Catra didn’t always understand the hierarchy of things. </p><p>When she was very little, even more so than now, she had thought Adora and her were on the same level. But unlike Adora, Catra wasn’t very good at being a gifted kid.</p><p>Shadow Weaver did try, at first, to keep her on track. </p><p>It was Catra’s fault, really, for not being able to stop herself from ruining her own potential.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adora &amp; Catra (She-Ra), Adora &amp; Shadow Weaver | Light Spinner (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Catra &amp; Shadow Weaver | Light Spinner (She-Ra)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Hierarchy of things</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Catra didn’t always understand the hierarchy of things. When she was very little, even more so than now, she had thought Adora and her were on the same level. They were better than the other kids, because Shadow Weaver actually cared for them. She used to gather them up on her knees and tell them about their purpose. Their place in the Horde. And that place was a privileged one, she reminded them, because they were <em>gifted</em>. They were gifted, and they were superior to the other kids who did not get to sit in Shadow Weaver’s lap. They were too smart to play pretend with the other kids. They were too strong to cry when they were tired or training hurt. They were too talented to waste time playing with kiddy toys. Stupid, purposeless activities, Shadow Weaver warned them, would be detrimental to developing their potential. And their potential was what made them special.</p><p>
But Catra wasn’t very good at being a gifted kid. She liked listening in the other kids’ games and telling them their pretend stories were dumb. She cried when her knees got scrapped and the blood matted painfully in her fur. She sneaked model warships under Adora’s bunkbed so she could dream about being all grown up and leaving the Fright Zone.</p><p>
Shadow Weaver did try, at first, to keep her on track. It was Catra’s fault, really, for not being able to stop herself from ruining her potential. She thought about it, often, as she tried to nurse a new lightning burn or had to spend more time alone in the shadow cage. She thought about stopping herself from defying the order of things, she thought about following Shadow Weaver’s directions, always. She would promise herself that she could never talk back to Shadow Weaver ever again, that she would obey, always, and be just like Adora.</p><p>
It never worked. No matter how many times she would make herself promise to the dead of the night, curled at the end of Adora’s bed because her stomach hurt less when she huddled up on her side. No matter how many times she hit her own thighs in frustration for acting foolish, <em>again</em>, as she tried not to be afraid of the dark of the cage.</p><p>
It didn’t matter how much she secretly wished to be like Adora. When came the time to be a good kid, she always chose to misbehave.</p><p>
She knew it made Adora sad, to see her make all these bad decisions. She knew when she was faced with punishment, it was Adora who had to be strong and plead with Shadow Weaver to give her another chance. She knew she was making it harder on her, to be a gifted kid in the Horde. And yet she couldn’t stop herself. Maybe she liked seeing Adora suffer. Maybe she liked that Adora sneaked her part of her food ration when she was denied the privilege to eat dinner. Maybe she just wanted Adora to let her sleep with her, using her cuts and bruises to bribe her way to the foot of her mattress. It was the one thing Shadow Weaver had conceded, after a long, dry argument with a stubborn five years old Adora. Catra could sleep on her bed, as long as it didn’t happen often, and she kept to the end of it.</p><p>
Catra understands it now.</p><p>
Shadow Weaver is standing in the dormitory, blocking the light coming from the corridor with her robes. Catra is too small to peer behind her shoulders, but it is halfway through the morning, and no one can be heard in this part of the Fright Zone. All the kids are training, and so should be Catra. But she’s leaning against Adora’s and her bedframe, taking some weight off her bandaged left leg.</p><p>
“Can I ask <em>why</em> you are standing here looking so insolent, instead of being with the others?”</p><p>
Her voice is low. Measured. The sweat gathering at the nape of her neck knows what this tone means.</p><p>
“My leg hurts”, Catra says instead of listening to her body’s signals to comply. “I’m not going to train and make it worse. That would be <em>stupid</em>.”</p><p>
The shadows that grow around her are as sudden as there are threatening. Startled, she accidentally shifts her weight on her injured leg and the shiver of pain sends the sweat rolling down her spine.</p><p>
Shadow Weaver is closer now, close enough for her hand to descend on her shoulder, squeezing her up until she whimpers against her best judgement.</p><p>
“Your insolence is getting out of hand, Catra.”</p><p>
She bends over, bringing her masked face to Catra’s.</p><p>
“Tell me, child, do you wish to test the limits to my generosity? I have let you stay with Adora, despite your bad influence. I did this because I love her, and I know how much she cares for you. Do you not love her, Catra? I would hate to hurt her by taking you away.”</p><p>
Her hand squeezes tighter, but this time Catra clenches her jaw tight, not letting a single noise escape.</p><p>
“Why do you insist on perpetually misbehaving? Do you enjoy bringing her down?”</p><p>
Catra’s eyes are burning.</p><p>
“Answer me!”</p><p>
“I –I don’t enjoy it.”</p><p>
Her voice is pathetic. Small. Teary. Weak. She hates Shadow Weaver; she hates herself even more.</p><p>
Shadow Weaver’s mask never let her see the emotions on her caretaker’s face.</p><p>
“Alright”, she says after a short while. “I will give you one more chance to redeem yourself, Catra. Do not disappoint me.”</p><p>
Catra’s stomach twists in anguish.</p><p>
“So what will it be, child?”</p><p>
Her voice stings like a heavy-handed slap.</p><p>
“I will…” Her throat is filled with anguish and mucus; she has to swallow once, twice to make place for words. “I will redeem myself, Shadow Weaver. Please.”</p><p>
The grip on her shoulder relents as the fingers trace a line up to her jaw, messing up the fur. A long nail threatens to pierce the skin where her ear blends into her skull. A warning.</p><p>
“You will try.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Oh BOY, are you ready to be HURT?</p><p>I always wanted to explore Catra's childhood, and how Shadow Weaver's abuse shaped in some ways the character we see throughout the show until she finally gets the chance to change and heal from her past. (I love her and I am so happy Adora and her got the opportunity to reconnect and heal, once again I love them and I am soft).</p><p>Part of this will also be my own thoughts and headcanons regarding the dynamic between Shadow Weaver, Catra and Adora. But yes, abuse is upsetting so if you want more detailed warnings in the notes for each chapter, I'll be happy to add them! </p><p>Let me know if you liked this and would like to see other chapters! (Am i working on them? Yes &lt;3. No. But yes. Also no. Maybe &lt;3)</p><p>Also this is like, super un-betaed so ignore typos if you find some.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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